just let me blog

this feels weird.

2007-12-10T06:44:32Z

i love what happens when i get a huge burst of ambition.

vogued.nu -- a fashion blog. i know.

AND

onacornflake.net -- my new personal blog. because i have issues.

i think this is a good thing but i'm not sure.

snow creates problems but i create solutions

2007-12-02T15:16:06Z

i was all like looking forward into moving next year and buying a house to live in (yes, i do realize houses cost lots of money, but it's a better thing to look forward to than yeah, i'm moving next year and i'm going to rent some sleazy apartment above a bar or something), but then i thought of something: snow removal.

i'm thinking of staying in minnesota (shoot me, i know) (i have a feeling i'm going to regret it) for at least another year (not my same town. i'm going to move to a more civilized part of minnesota, if there is such a thing) so yeah, one thing we get here? inches and inches of snow. right now we had our first "big" snowstorm of the year...at it's highest drifting point, it's probably like a foot deep. my poor baby heels would get ruined in this weather. i was forced to put on the only boots i own...you know, a pair of those high heeled mini ankle boots. which i'm not sure is weather appropriate but whatever. i mean come on, what do you want? these?

(i personally find it appalling that those are the item of the week at style.com. i also find it appalling that they cost $2500 when they want to make me puke.)

i've decided later on in my life, you know, years after i've finished school and lived in some sleazy apartment above a bar, in addition to being the best fashion journalist of all time, i will also design some sexy snow boots that people will want to wear. everyone. people won't be like, "oh i really wish it would snow so i could go skiing!" or whatever, they'll be like, "OMG i soooo wish it would snow so i could wear miss ashley's always fashionable and sexy and hot snow boots!" mark my words.

and they won't be $2500. maybe $250-$500. i think that's reasonable.

anyway, back to the main topic of my blog...snow removal. if i live in a house, chances are i'm going to have to shovel my own snow out of my driveway or whatever. i mean, i guess i could do that...i'm pretty down with manual labor these days (i mop and sweep and even vacuum at work now), but still. it sounds cold. i wonder if i could hire someone to do it. yeah, like maybe i'll live by some nice neighbors, and i'll be like hey i'll give you $10 if you shovel my snow. and they'll be like oh yeah totally because we love you ashley.

rude, rude, rude.

2007-11-26T02:02:50Z

i love how some conversations can be.

phone: *ring, ring*
ashley: hello?
ashley's cousin, sounding cheerful: hi, how are you?
ashley, sounding cheerful right back: i'm good! how are you?
ashley's cousin, switching from cheerful to quite disappointed: oh, it's ashley. *sigh* is your mom there?
ashley: i said HOW ARE YOU?

little things like that piss me off. and while we're on the subject of my cousin, who isn't really good blogging material but whatever, he has decided to "not do christmas and all that shit" this year, because, after breaking up with his girlfriend of two measly months, he cannot seem to move on with his life and would rather bitch and moan about it. and it's not like it's his first relationship. he's like 37 or something. i can handle break-ups better than he can, and i'm what? twenty years younger? yeah. and we've already bought his presents, of course.

and that about sums up my weekend: people pissing me off. okay, i'm kidding, i had a good weekend. i power-read a novel i had to do a report on saturday morning. friday i actually did go shopping (not at 4 a.m., mind you) and i had fun. next weekend i'm probably getting my macbook, and i'm nervous. i know. nervous over the most beautiful thing in the world. but the last time i tried to convert to mac, it didn't go so well. i might have even cried.

happy thanksgiving.

2007-11-23T04:02:20Z

thanksgiving. it's one of those i-love-it-but-i-hate-it holidays. i'm rather confused about my opinion on it. i mean, it's good because

no work
food

but then again, it's bad.

no pay
i'm on a diet

okay, so the food really isn't that big of a deal for me. my grandparents make the food, and while it's by no means bad, everything is just a little weird. the stuffing is spicy. i'm not really certain of this because i've never really had any other kind, but i'm not sure stuffing is supposed to be spicy. i think it should be more like bready or something. the mashed potatoes are really plain...i like mine loaded with butter and all those good things. but wait. i don't even really like mashed potatoes period, so it doesn't really matter. and come to think of it, i'm not too fond of cranberries, squash, cornucopia, and all that stuff anyway, which is probably why i don't love thanksgiving in the way some people do. maybe i'm a picky eater, idk, but i think i'd have a better thanksgiving if you threw down a freaking salad and a slice of bread in front of me. not spicy stuffing.

and what is it with this thing called pumpkin pie? i mean, i'm pretty sure pumpkin is a vegetable. who wants a vegetable for dessert? i want some cake, for god's sake.

as for shopping tomorrow...i will say one thing and one thing only: i really hope you're not getting up and going to the mall at 4 a.m., because you are insane.

proof that i'm insane (because really, who else takes time thinking about this?)

2007-11-11T05:11:38Z

november is my least favorite month. i hate it. i hate it with a passion. i'm not exactly sure why...perhaps it could be that it gets dark at approximately 4 p.m.? or maybe it's the fact that i have to put on about five layers of clothing if i want to go outside. wait, i know, i think i hate it so much because of the harsh elements of winter. like snow, for example, which lands on my face and melts my make-up, thus revealing zits. or the snow that lands on my hair and makes it look...well, awful. oh, and when the snow tries to melt (it won't fully melt until april, of course), it turns into slush. slush + heels = bad times. i'm quickly remembering this from last year.

solution: i think i'm going to finally buy some burberry wellies. i know.

so i was eating breakfast today, all sad and depressed and focusing on the giant snowflakes coming down outside, covering the beautiful brown grass of october, when i made a list of months, starting with my least favorite and ending with my favorite. it goes like this, in case anyone, anywhere (god bless you) would care.

november
february
january
march
may
april
september
october
december
august
june
july

november i hate for all the reasons above. february is depressing, even though it's short. january is snowy and -0 degrees on a daily basis. march is my birthday, which makes it somewhat bearable, but there still is snow (i hate snow) (i'm moving to south america asap. seriously). may is long. april is long. september is usually when school starts. october is almost november. december is only high on my list because of christmas, time off from school, and i usually go on vacation during this month. august is getting ready for school, which sucks, but i love august weather so we're cool. june is warm. july is sunny.

and now you know.

so. what's your least favorite month AND WHY?

clean pee

2007-11-06T03:59:46Z

so today i had a new request at work. rather than just, you know, a regular demand like, "NO TOMATOES!" or, "I WANT THAT LATTE SKIM!", i got asked for a "clean pee". at first i was like um. come again? then i was like oh. um. that's not on the menu.

i mean, seriously. how many options are there here?

girl: OMG *sob sob* i need a clean pee! *sob sob sob* i have pot in my system *sob* i know i'm so stupid *sob sob* OMG
me: yeah, i don't actually have to go right now.

that was my first thought. then i thought perhaps

girl: OMG *sob sob* i need a clean pee! *sob sob sob* i have pot in my system *sob* i know i'm so stupid *sob sob* OMG
me: oh duuuude (yeah i'm like a surfer these days), me too man, this weekend was pretty wild if you know what i mean.

but i mean, look at me. i'm not exactly pothead-material (thank god), so that was kind of out.

or i could have just agreed. but i mean, i was at work, what do you want me to do? where do you want me to put it? if you know, the subject of peeing wasn't so gross, i probably would have, but um really.

and that's my story for the day. i've never been asked something so weird so you know, i had to blog about it. in other news, i hate when people ignore text messages. seriously.

a temporary home

2007-10-30T03:08:05Z

i am only blogging here because i do not have time to fix my site. actually, it doesn't really need fixing...it is pretty much entirely fixed, but i do not like to open unless it's perfect, and that's going to take a week or two. so for now, i give you this lovely gem. yes. please keep your links up to v.nu, i will be with you all shortly.

well, you know, since my site has been down, i've done some interesting things. okay, they aren't exactly interesting, but i mean, i've done things at least. on interesting thing? right now i'm blogging from a wal-mart parking lot. yeah, i know. i think it's hilarious. one thing cities need these days? wireless interenet everywhere. i've been to so many parking lots in the last hour trying to get a connection, i kind of want to die when i think of the price of petro. i finally was able to connect at yeah, wal-mart. oh wal-mart. i might have to reconsider my hate for you. or at least your parking lot. i don't know. i'll think about it.

and now, i did not just drive around trying to find wireless to simply just blog. i have an essay due tomorrow and the guidelines are online, and i really needed the guidelines. emphasis on "really needed". hence the situation.

wal-mart kind of makes me feel like natalie portman in where the heart is. i don't know if that's good or bad.

so anyway, let's see. last last friday i went mall of america shopping with one of my friends. we got carded. apparently, you are not allowed to shop without a "guardian" if you are younger than sixteen. we're seventeen, but my friend didn't have her ID, so they confined us to bloomingdales. i wrote a letter of complaint and have vowed never to go mall of america shopping again, unless i really need to (i need my bloomingdales, and there isn't another one around within like 500 miles).

i did something interesting last last saturday but i can't really remember it. oh yeah. i was hanging out with one of my friends when her muffler kind of fell off. it was quite an ordeal on her end. i camwhored. she freaked out. i'm like, it's just the muffler bbcakes, it's going to be okay. she was like no. i was like yes. and then i decided i would start becoming somewhat educated in the field of cars, so if that ever happens again, i cant just be like, "oh, i know what happened! your fucking muffler fell off! damn those things. let me just grab my [insert whatever tool you need to fix it here] and i'll fix it for you!" because i think i saw a clip from like, the transformers or something, and that one chick fixes stanley yelnats's car, and after that he's like yeah, let's have hot hot sex in the back seat. okay, that would be kind of creepy but yeah, i just don't want to wind up on some deserted interstate and my tire flies off and i'm stranded and i don't know how to put on the spare, you know? because that's how people get raped.

anyway, and then some other night i went to see across the universe with another one of my friends. i thought it was going to be good. i mean, all the songs are beatles' songs. the beatles are a good band, y/y? but of course, the movie sucked some major ass. it scared the piss out of me, actually. well, i laughed my ass off more than anything, but whatever. it was kind of like, let me see...i don't know. it was like [insert an already bad movie here] on drugs. that's what it was like. and there was needless nudity in it. like, evan rachel wood was lying on the couch with a blanket on, asleep, and then all of a sudden, she rolls over and out pops one of her tits. i was like, is that really necessary? no. i mean, the scene would have been completely fine if she had a bra on, but nooo, we have to see her tits. and then the hot guy was drawing her, like in the titanic (i was like, OMG, deja vu! because the scenes are so similar), and she looks at it and instead of locking it in her safe or whatever rose does, evan rachel wood is all, "you got my left nipple wrong." i'm like wtf kind of shit is this.

we didn't even stay to watch the end. it was the end for us when some weird preacher guy in the army hospital started singing and dancing. i couldn't stand it anymore; we left. i didn't have any nightmares, surprisingly. i still do have this annoying, "i am the wlarus, poo-poo-pee-doop" song on my mind though. fuck.

and i've done some other stuff too, but i'll catch you up on that another time. i should probably get going now though, because i'm worried some wal-mart person is going to come and ask me why the hell i've been sitting in their parking lot for like, two hours. and wal-mart people are weird.